Mastering the Art of Saying No: 3 Actionable Strategies to Boost Your Confidence

Raise your hand if you’ve ever said yes to something that you later regretted. Now, keep it up if you’ve ever said yes to something when you actually meant no.

Hey! Put those hands back up!

The fact is, we’ve all done it. We have all, at some point, accepted a task, project, or party invitation that we knew we didn’t want to do. And we told ourselves fifty different excuses as to why we had to say yes.

But the reality is that we didn’t have to say yes.

Saying “No” to something is how you communicate your priorities and values to the people around you.

The No to Yes Ratio

You should only be saying one yes to every ten no’s.

That ratio probably scares some of you but you have to do it! I remember I read this in an article ages ago, right as I was struggling with being a single mom, and the ratio definitely frightened me. I thought, “That’s way too much. I can’t say no that often. People will think that I don’t want to do anything.”

But that’s not the case, at all. I decided to give it a shot and started saying yes, only when I meant yes. And the change in my life was so gratifying, it is hard to express.

And I realized, every leader, whether you are a leader in your company, family, or community, needs to do this.

Here’s why it makes leaders super successful. They value their time. They understand their individual core values and know what is worth their time and what isn’t. In a strange duality, it also doesn’t waste other people’s time! It removes the disingenuity of saying yes to something that’s actually a no, and feeding the false narrative that something is important to you when it actually isn’t. See what “the oracles” have to say about it!

Don’t leap at every opportunity that comes your way just because it is in front of you. Be selective and assured that the opportunities, tasks, social gatherings, etc. that you pursue are worth your time and benefit the pursuit of your best self.

While this may sound exceedingly selfish, there is selflessness in selfishness. Taking on things that drain you of your passion and enthusiasm will cause you to stress and burn out much faster. Burnout is bad for you and trickles down to your job, family, and friends. It’s a lose-lose.